International Date Line.

I thought I might as well give it a try and so I phoned up the "International Date Line".  I was hoping they would work out better at providing me with a date then those dating agencies I've seen advertised on television.  You might know of the ads I'm meaning.  Yes indeed, they boast, if you don't get a date in the first six months, you get the next six months, free!  Wow, great stuff!  Add another six months of humiliation.

Anyway, I got through to the International Date Line. "International Date Line, how may I help?", stated the friendly female voice.  "Hi there, my name's Gary and I'd like a date please.", I replied.  "Certainly sir.  Any particular date?", she said.  "I'm not fussy.  As a long as she's breathing would be a heck of start.", I explained.  "Sorry?  I  don't understand.  This is the International Date Line and we can offer you a calendar date of your choosing."  At this point, I was going to tell her that I didn't want a date with a calendar, but thought better of it.

"Sir, at a nominal fee, we can have a day in your honour marked on calendars worldwide."  I started fantasising about staring at my calendar and grinning at February 30th aka "Klahanie Appreciation Day."  Realising that the International Date Line was not a dating agency, I politely ended the conversation.

After smashing open my piggy bank and gathering up my life savings, I proceeded to the betting shop.  "Good day Mr. betting shop dude.  I wish to bet my life savings that the world will end on December 21, 2012!"  Oh yes, I noted the silly grin on his face.  He wont be smirking when I win my bet.  Hang on a second.....hmmmm....

I'm going to be calling the Tonga Information Board and being the closest country to the International Date Line, where the new day begins, I will ask them if the world has ended.  Anybody west of me, I shall duly inform you if the world ends on December 21, 2012.  You are very welcome.  Apocalypse Yes?  Apocalypse No?