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Sunday, 2 December 2012

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And the darkness descended again.  The colours of the rainbow faded back to shades of black, of white, of grey.  For the past month I've been living under a cloud of gloom.  Time to have the sun shine through that cloud of doom and see the vibrant colours of the rainbow.

Like so many, I have been targeted by a ruthless British government.  A government who are attacking the poor, the sick, the vulnerable.  And through this, the memories I had tried to move on from, were dredged up by a questionnaire that questions my illness.  Yes, the stress has been unbearable and made me feel sick, distraught and hysterical with fear.  Indeed, this horrible government is making the already sick, sicker.

Why are they doing this?  It's all in the name of austerity.  That would be austere measures where those who can least afford it, are suffering the consequences of those who got us into this mess in the first place.  This may sound all too familiar, no matter where you live.

For the past month, I've been completely exhausted.  Barely able to get out of bed.  For the past month, I would get out of bed and within an hour, found myself back under the duvet.  Thanks to all this outrageous stress imposed, I have been feeling anxious, breathless and barely functioning.  In actuality, I can hardly muster up the energy to type this.

With every fibre of my resilient, defiant nature, I challenge this.  I need to relax and realise a more positive now.  I have decided, no matter what obstacles are put before me, I shall knock down the barriers and find a way.  I always do.  I will not give negative influences permission to sabotage my right to a peaceful, positive life.

I have a friend in Wales who needs some comfort.  My friend is going through a challenging time and I want to be there for him.  This means that I'm staying well away from a computer for the next few days, starting Tuesday morning.  I believe that by trying to help my friend, in turn, I help myself.

I am profoundly grateful for your ongoing support and understanding during one of the worst moments of my life.  I know that we are here for each other and that fills me with hope, inspiration and the determination to carry on.  Thank you for reading this.  I'm visualising the vibrant colours of the rainbow.

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