The Daylight, Night Time, Any Time Robbery Bank.

The Daylight, Night Time, Any Time Robbery Bank

Dear customer,

This is a letter in regards to your letter querying why your current account is overdrawn.  Well, here's what happened.  One of our computers accidentally caused one of our human bank staff to key in the wrong current account details on one of your direct debits.  Which means, the computer is blaming it on human error.  This also meant that your healthy financial balance and credit rating has been destroyed.
We also understand from your previous letter, that you had to phone up all your direct debit companies, who could not withdraw money from your current account. You state that each company you phoned in regards to this, kept you on hold for ages, at considerable expense to you, while you listened to, amongst other things, a rousing rendition of the "William Tell Overture".  We also realise that you tried to phone us to sort it out and was kept on hold for ages, at considerable expense to you, as you listened to, "For the love of Money", by the "O'Jays".
Upon further reading of your previous letter, we are also aware that this error has caused you to get into serious problems with a collection agency.  We can only apologise for the stress caused by the overzealous bailiffs who ransacked your home and removed all your worldly goods.
We think it only fair to let you know that your current account, accidentally overdrawn, will be rectified within the next two years.  We are also informing you that there is a £25 administration fee being charged to you for the sending out of this letter in regards to our mistake.

Have a nice day.


The Daylight, Night Time, Any Time Robbery Bank