Listening To The Inner Child.

We all have choices.  In the past, I made the mistake of giving in to negative thoughts. The screaming chatter in my head that told me I was useless and not worthy of being a part of society.  A pathetic man trapped in his self-imposed prison.  And I clung onto those thoughts.  Reinforced by those who exploited my vulnerability and compounded by me.

In one last gasp attempt, I reached out for the last remaining shreds of my self-worth, my dignity. Negative energy will not be given permission to sabotage my right to a peaceful, positive life.  I will not drown in the sea of despair.  Now I walk along the beach of dreams where the sea and the sky embrace.  Beyond the horizon, the voices in the chorus of compassion, the instruments in the orchestra of enlightenment, merge together, flow as one, in peaceful, rhythmic harmony.

I challenged my fears.  Understood that the inner critic tells lies.  Yes, I have been scared.  Yet through those dark clouds of fear, I found inspiration.  Inspiration to carry on, to face any outcome, with a resolve, a determination that has made my heart, my soul, rejoice with the knowledge that when you seek the good, you find the good.  I began to listen to my inner child.  For the inner child reveals the truth.

A positive environment starts from within and transcends to the world beyond.

The past few weeks have been painful, hopeful.  Moments where I sat in a darkened room, stared out at the stars and felt the solitary tear flow down my cheek.  My life has been one of bizarre contradictions.  I am the reluctant recluse who when he braves the outside world, becomes a man who brings that smile to someone who seems so sad.

I have made many a mistake and lessons are learnt.  I am not defined by my mistakes.  What I learn from my mistakes, defines me.