This is a pawed pawlitical announcement on behalf of "Britain's Lovable Earnest Encouragement Pawty", also known as, "BLEEP".
Dear animal and human alike. At our recent convention in the London borough of Barking and 'Dogenham', we held an election, voted by pawty members, to decide who our leader would be in the run up to the next general election in Britain.
By a landslide decision, a Jack Russell dog, famous for her work bringing the ethos of a non-judgemental, unconditional, loving world, to the computer screens of humans and other creatures, great and small, was duly elected as our leader.
Ladies, gentleman and fellow creatures, we present to you the next Paw Minister of Britain, Penny the Jack Russell dog.
Penny will represent our ideals in the next general election. That of a nation where the "Fat Cats" at the 'Big Barks' will be penalised for getting us into such a financial mess. That of a nation where 'pawsterity' measures are not inflicted on the poor, the vulnerable, the sick, the disabled, to pay for the mistakes of the fortunate.
Those currently in power speak of, "The Big Society", that, "We are all in this together". What that really means is that the government in power, the coalition government formed by the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats aka 'ConDems', takes away essential services and benefits from the poor, the vulnerable, the sick, the disabled. Yes, in the Big Society, those who are unfortunate are expected to fend for themselves. We at BLEEP will redress the balance.
We shall ensure that those who need help, get help. And we shall ensure that those who have caused so much misery will pay for the errors of their ways. It's time for a real change. A change for a better Britain. A Britain where mankind and all beloved creatures live in a nation of peace and equality.
After the next general election, in the 'Houses of Pawliament', a new dawn will see Penny, our kind and caring leader, take her place as the next Paw Minister of Britain.
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