Each Christmas.

Each Christmas, over the last few years, I contemplate not bothering with putting up a tree or adorning my home with all the decorations.  Those special moments of Christmas past, had become just a faded blur. Why bother with seasonal lights when nobody would come to see them?

And I went for a stroll in the heart of Leek.  I gazed at blue twinkling lights adorning the branches of two trees that stood beside the Nicholson War Memorial.  And on that cold snowy night, alone with my thoughts,  I realised that in actuality, I have much to be grateful for.  I got in my car.  I headed home.

I went into my living room and I suddenly found myself putting purple lights on my fake flower arrangement that sticks out the top of a big tub that looks like something a snake might come out of.  If you click on the photo it might give you a better idea.   It appeared that I might be giving in, yet again and would soon be merrily covering the house with pretty little lights and seasonal adornments.   Oh my.....

Before you could say, 'Merry Boxing Day Eve', I found that I had gone into some kind of Christmas trance and my living room was sort of transformed into some kind of magical wonderland.  Even Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, was dazzled by the light display.  You may note her staring up at her 'Santa's Little Helper' bib she proudly wore in her previous posting.
And so, despite the probability that I will have no visitors, I realised that the soothing ambience, the gentleness of the scene, was giving me a sense of peace and tranquillity.   Yes, I have a son who may take a fleeting glimpse at the Christmas tree.  And yes, we have a dog that will provide us with much needed company.   So really, it aint so bad.  

I stared into the candle.  Found my thoughts absorbed in the warm, reassuring glow.  I thought about the gifts that have nothing to do with money.  Gifts that are truly priceless.  I am determined, more than ever before, that I will praise my son, bestow upon him the positive affirmations he craves within his heart.  I give him the gift of a smile.  And I wait for the smile to return to his face. I wait for the flickering glimmer of hope to return to the eyes of a sad young man.